Saturday, December 31, 2011

mencecah tahun baru, 2012

peeps,hi.
2012 dah nak tiba dah,pukul 12 malam ni.
Aku still kat umah,bercuti.
So,cam biasa la,pejam celik,pejam celik,dah nak abis cuti dah...
Tak ke mana sangat pun cuti ni.
Gi Taiping,tu jela kot.Tu pun tak best mana :P
Hari lain,duk umah,main game,'halau nyamuk'.Hahaha...
Game pe?haha,best giler game aku main ni.
Dragon Nest.Bagi aku,MMORPG terbaik setakat ni. :)

cool seyh.
Keluar jalan2?ngeehhhhh...de lesen pun,tak gerak.Aku tak tau jalan. =.=''
Maklum la,tak dapat peluang untuk pusing2 lagi.
Takpe2,one day,eL,one day....

Okay,back to the topic,2012,a new year approaching.
Azam tahun baru?
Haha,maybe aku stick perangai 'Biar jela','Go with the flow' or whatever la.(pandai-pandai korang paham sendiri :P)
Biasa la,hidup aku ni bukan nyer betul sangat.Malas aku nak berdrama swasta kat cni.
Bagi aku,perangai camni buat aku survive dengan obstacles2 yang aku hadapi...setakat ni la..
Kalau azam nak belajar betul2....hmmmm,tak mungkin tercapai kot.HAHAHAHA,yang ni aku malas nak explain! XPPPP
So,k la,saja nak blogging,nak wish happy new year kat readers...kalau de yang baca la.
(blog yang sunyi =.='')
anyway,
HAPPY 2012 :)
(lol,gambar takde kaitan XP )




Friday, December 23, 2011

Janjiku

hoit-hoit :P
tengok title tu.
Kalau aku cakap tu tajuk satu lagu ni,mungkin de yang dah tau lagu pe yang aku cakapkan ni.
JANJIKU -sofaz
lagu lama,aku tau.
Try ar hayati lirik lagu tu.
Mungkin untuk sesetengah laki (or even girls) tu pernah alami situasi yang diceritakan oleh lagu ni.
Sama ada pemangsa atau mangsa.
Meh,aku kasi korus nyer,

'Bukakanlah pintu hatimu,
izinkan aku kembali padamu,
Ku sesalkan perbuatan ku ini,
Tak akan berulang lagi,
ku janji.'

Lagu ni pasal mamat tu curang dengan gadis dia then kantoi.
Sape pun tak bengang kalau dapat tau pasangan dia camtu kan?
Well,nak dikaitkan dengan aku,de la jugak.
Tapi aku tak curang,cuma tak ngaku cinta je.
Pendekkan cerita,'dia' test aku pakai no. lain,berlakon jadi orang lain,aku layan pastu aku ngaku aku single.
Terok kan aku?
Paham2 la pe yang berlaku pastu.

So,aku nak minta maaf kat sorang gadis ni sebab aku jadi manusia tak guna.
Sampai dia tak percaya aku langsung.Macam kena tampar seyh.
Aku kesal dengan perbuatan aku.
Kalo boleh nak undur masa dan betulkan keadaan,tapi jangan harap la kan.
Aku hanya boleh janji takkan buat camtu lagi walaupun dengan sapa2 pun aku 'ketemu' nanti.
I learnt my lesson.

a piece of advices, takyah la curang.
Kalau tak ngaku cinta pun sakit apatah lagi curang.Jaga hati pasangan tu.
Kalau tak leh,takyah nak bermanis mulut awal2 tu.

hari ku berPuisi

"Dalam sejarah Tun Sri Lanang berkisah,
Tentang Sriwijaya Majapahit dan Melaka,
Pisang jarum dan air Bukit Cina,
Bandar Melaka dikawal panglima,
Terlalu pintar Bendahara Sri Maharaja."

Hi,peeps!
Tengok atas ni.Ni la serangkap puisi yang aku baca minggu lepas.
Aku puisi?eL puisi?haha,aku pun tak caya.
Tapi pe boleh buat,duty calls.
Yela,aku punyer koko untuk sem ni Kelab Teater Dan Drama Pentas.
So,de kaitan la.....kot.

Tapi best gak,kitorang puisi berantai.Aku nyer part yang tu je.
Haha,sikit kan?Tu yang best tu.
Apatah lagi aku kena tunjuk lagak karakter yang ego atas pentas tu. :P
Nervous,of coz.Bila dah abis,lega.Biasa la tu kan.

Tapi nak gak citer out of topic sikit kat sini.
Seperti yang korang tau (ataupun tidak :P ),
banyak benda aku lalui tapi LIFE MUST GO ON la kan.
life must go on,cehhhh,haha,yang ni aku belajar dari seseorang yang pernah jd orang penting dalam hidup aku.

Tapi de lagi satu aku belajar.
JANGAN LETAK HARAPAN.
Aku jumpa,lepak dengan beberapa gadis cun,baik,macam-macam la,especially time puisi ni.
Maklum la,pencinta wanita yang single kan :P
Apatah lagi de 'kisah lama' yang approach aku balik,baik2 dgn aku.
tapi tu la,jangan letak harapan,sebab nanti suma tunggang terbalik semula.
Aku tak tau la kenapa tapi somehow hidup aku ni macam bad luck gak.
Suma benda tak betul.
Pedih gak bila tengok gurls yang kita minat depan mata tapi bukan milik kita kan.
Tapi bagi aku,tu la lumrah hidup.
Tension-tension jugak tapi LIFE MUST GO ON la kan.

#when hope is just a hope
p/s, geram aku tgk ko buat style rambut cute gitu XP

Thursday, December 15, 2011

i'm good,yeah,i'm good~

14 disember

Aku nyer MC untuk diseases aku ni dah expired dah.
So,nak pi check lagi,mana la tau kena extend lagi ke.
Tapi tak best sangat la tak datang kelas tapi dok dalam bilik je...
kuarantin la kan... pfft!
Dah banyak miss,keje pun de gak yang miss...
Macam 9 ekor ikan yang aku kena lukis,kena label lagi...perghhhh...malas seyh..
Nak datang test pun macam pe,pakai mask..mau lemas aku...
tu la susah payah nyer kena kuarantin kat bilik sendiri.
Makanan pun payah nak carik.
So,aku pi la hospital terus.Dah nama HOSPITAL,ingatkan better place la untuk check.
Tapi cam siot,doctor pun blank gak,tak tau nak buat pe dengan condition aku ni.
Sampai panggil doktor2 yang lain =.=''
Last2,diorang cakap aku dah ok,aku dah boleh gi kelas dah.

15 Disember

Aku dah okay,dah sihat,aku gi kelas.
Woohooo,aku berjaya tak miss kelas lecturer hottt and cool,Dr. Rozida.
Hehehhhh... XP

So,memang aku mintak sangat la selsema piggy tu tak menyusahkan aku lagi
(Curse you who infected me the virus!!)
Moga2 aku sihat je.Nak sakit pun takyah terok sangat. :P
Hopefully.Thanks God.

Thanks Mom,Dad,family and frens for concerned :)

Saturday, December 10, 2011

ouch...

hey there...
I gonna tell u guys,what happened in these recent few days.
Sore throat,fever,headache,cough and flu.
I push myself and make it to few classes.
Then i take a rest at other's room.
I thought it was a normal fever that will end by panadol.
But those were my mistakes.
This thing gotten much worst,so i went to a clinic and found out this...quite a shocking news.
For those who is not well,fever,sore throat,tonsil and all...especially the ones who been around me within 24-48 hours,i advised u guys to see the doctor.

Influenza A H1N1,positive.
Currently quarantine at B006.
:'(

Tuesday, December 6, 2011

Sweet,funny memory

Selepas lab bio ikan tadi,balik bilik,terus online facebook.(perghh,bau ikan ! XP )
Pastu nampak de sorang girl ni online gak,kawan lama.
Pi la tegur,chatting dengan dia.
Pastu stalk sikit la fb dia.Haha,dah berpunya rupanya.
Eh,jangan salah faham,bukan aku minat kat dia pun sekarang.
Dulu de la kisah nyer.

So,siapa dia ni?
Nama dia Emy.Cinta aku yang pertama.
errr...cinta MONYET sebenarnya...i mean,memang betul2 'puppy love' nyer
(monyet?puppy?? XP haha,pandai2 la korang paham sendiri)
Kitorang kapel time umur 6 tahun.
6 tahun.Six years old.Tadika.
Wuahahahaha,jangan terkejut lak tapi ni memang berlaku.
Dah kata cinta monyet kan,so bila ingat2 balik,lawak dow tapi best.
Benda yang memang takkan aku lupa.

Kisahnya bermula camni.
Biasa la,bila dah tadika 2nd year ni,kitorang budak2 laki list budak pompuan yang cun2.
Yang paling top,si Emy ni.
Budak ni dari 5 tahun aku dah sangkut tapi biasa lah,competition pun dengan member sendiri kan.
Tapi bila mencecah 6 tahun ni,aku tiba2 rasa tekad nak menang hati dia.
Orang kutuk dia,aku marah giler2,macam nak protect la katakan.
Even abang aku sendiri pun aku nak cari gaduh.HAHAHA.
Bila rehat,aku pi berani dok sebelah dia walaupun tu bahagian gurls.
Haha,memang gila aku time tu.
So,bila aku dah buat perangai camtu,gosip suma timbul.
Sampai mak aku pun tau gak.Haha,malu seyh!
Lambat laun dia pun sedar gak aku minat kat dia.
Tapi kitorang buat tak tau jela kan.

One day,tadika tu de nak buat performance,sempena pe ntah,tak ingat :P
So,mak aku volunteer nak tolong perfomance tu.
Performance tarian ikut lagu 'Raindrops Keep Falling On My Head'.
Aku and Emy kena join benda tu,termasuk la beberapa kawan yang lain.
Sampai sekarang aku tak pasti betul ke tak tapi aku dapat rasakan mak aku memang sengaja masukkan kitorang berdua kat performance tu.Sebelah2 lagi tu! Hahaha!
Then,lepas performance tu abis,kitorang duk sebelah2 kat auditorium tu.
Aku check poket aku,de candy 'Moo Moo Milk'.Aku kasi dia.
Aiseh,dia senyum!Memang cair aku time tu! XP
Kitorang rapat sejak aritu. :3

Then,ada suatu ketika kitorang gi tengok arnab dalam sangkar,aku main bantai je confess terus kat dia.
'Aku suka kau.Kau suka aku tak?'
Memang BLUSHH terus muka dia,malu nyer pasal.
Then aku tanya lagi.
'Kau suka aku tak?'
Pastu dia angguk.
Haha,memang happy plus segan aku rasa time tu,terus aku berlari tinggalkan dia kat situ,tak tau kenapa aku buat camtu.Over excited kott .... XP
Pastu cinta kitorang bersemi dari hari ke hari. (ceh,ayat tak boleh blah :PPP )
Even kitorang darjah 1,kitorang still together-gether.
Sekolah kebangsaan,sekolah agama kitorang sama,memang best ar.
De orang kutuk dia je,aku sound.Tapi bila de orang kutuk aku,aku buat bodo je.
(tapi de yang kantoi kutuk aku dengan abang aku,padan muka diorang kena setel :DD lawak dow!)
Even kitorang de citer pasal kahwin suma.HAHAHA!time budak2 la kan!

De 1 scene tu,beberapa member suruh kitorang kiss.
Aku kiss pipi Emy je. (ceh,malu la siot)
Pastu diorang tak puas hati,diorang suruh kitorang kiss bibir.Hahaha,memang siot budak2 pompuan ni.
Aku dan Emy masuk dalam kelas time lepas sekolah and kitorang kunci.
Kitorang gtau diorang yang kitorang malu nak tunjuk depan korang,so dalam kelas la.
Tapi kitorang tak kiss pun.
Duduk2 atas meja,lepas 2 minit tu,kitorang keluar tipu diorang.
Hahaha,memang gosip terus.
Even sampai sekarang pun,de yang bertembung dengan aku,tanya;
'Wei,Apiz,dulu kau dengan Emy de kiss mulut kan?'
HAHAHAHA,sampai besar kena tipu hidup2. XP

Tapi malangnya,kisah kami ni kekal sampai darjah 3 je.
Haha,yang ni memang kebodohan aku sendiri.
Kalau tak,awek cun tu,insyaAllah aku still dengan dia lagi,cewaahhhhh :P
Pe yang aku buat?
Aku gi kutuk dia gedik,kitorang bertengkar,pastu,THE END untuk kami.
haha,bangang tak aku?

Tu jela kisah nyer.
Kadang2 aku de gak pikir balik,bodo gak aku gi buat camtu.
Cun seyh dia.Dari kecik sampai besar,dia memang cun.
Tapi tak kisah la,tu memang cinta monyet hardcore.Takde la kecewa sangat :P
But i admit it,it's fun and sweet one to remember.

haha,memories. :)

Monday, December 5, 2011

The Life of Acting

pfft! look at the the title,
Don't get me wrong,i am not a celebrity actor(or whatever they call it).
Although i'm in the drama club =.=''
But that's not the point.
The point is i had been 'acting' recently.
Or something like that.
A lot.

Probably you heard that i had smile but hurt inside,bla bla bla...
well,that could considered ACT ,right?
We not being ourselves and show it to others.That's 'stage-performing'.
Then we go back into our room and feel depressed like hell.And that's 'backstage'.
Ask ourselves,what are the motives of act?
To satisfy people,to please people,to LIE people.
Whether it's for our own good or not,
it is ACT.

The world is a stage,the life is the plot and i am the actor.
After the troubles,the dipshits i faced,i have to act.
To satisy people,of course.
I know,there goes some saying like this,
"If u can't satisfy yourselves,how can u satisfy others?"
Unfortunately,i can.And it happen.Everyday,after a pile of dipshit troubles hit on me.
Even the day i typing this.
People seems to be happy (or feel nothing).
Even i'm not...but no one care it.No one give a shit.
I am a LOSER after all,i admit it.
I'm not good at anything.Useless,hopeless.

Haha,don't worry,this post isn't for asking sympathies or whatever.
Anyone who feeling annoying already,feel free to block this address and get lost.
I'm just saying the reality.
Friends,love,achievements,
nothing seems to be right.
Yeah,kinda give up but still goes on.

Well,whatever happened,
like it or not,i really hope for some encouragement,some miracles.
But i wont ask for it,i wont begging for it.
I just act around and live on.
Even though i 'cursed' some people and expect them to suffer or simply,dead,
but like i said,no one ever give shit about it.(It would be better if it is really happen though :P )
Trust me,i hate this but it is the only option left.

meaningless life.

Wednesday, November 30, 2011

haha,life's blank

Haha,banyak benda berlaku dow sejak kebelakangan ni.
Bajet bagus,
gelabah tak menentu,
terasa tak tentu hala,
lupa diri,lupa kawan,
penipu besar,
penghancur harapan,
hipokrit,
memperbodohkan diri,
macam2 ada.

Tapi takpe r,aku malas nak dendam lebih2 ni,buat sakit ati je.
KARMA sentiasa ada.

Nak kata hepi,tak jugak.Sedih pun tak jugak.
Hidup ni just...blank. (-_-)
Just senyum je der!senyum!

(tapi still de part lawak giler berlaku arini,
WUAHAHAHAHAHA~!)

Tuesday, November 29, 2011

'Hoi~hoi.' is gone

Dia kata aku mcm budak kecik.
Takde masa nak layan aku.
Ouch.
Terkilan gler aku.
Rasa nak nangis pun ada.
Aku tak mampu nak cakap pape.
Dapat express kat blog ni and komik yang aku lukis tu je.
Aku taknak cakap pape lagi sbb aku taknak buruk2kan dia.
Tak elok burukkan kawan sendiri.
Biar la aku sorang2 layan perasaan.

I took some advices...
...and I shall be different.
'Thanks' a lot.

Sunday, November 27, 2011

wait and wait and WAIT

Okay,almost the same as my dad,
i'm not a very much 'waiter'.
Not the waiter at the restaurant.
u know, 'WAIT- er'
the ones who like to wait,like a taxi driver :P
Well i'm not like that but most circumstances made me to wait =.='
Maybe i could stand of waiting in some period of time.

SO,as i said,some conditions made me to wait.
especially in love matters (okay,i know this is awkward =.=')
Recently,
i had to wait til she's single.
succeed.
til she's tell the more of her story.
not yet.
til the 'punisment' end.
it's killing me! =.=''
but all of that circumstances,i could stand of waiting.

But there's one that i have to wait but kinda hurt at the same time.
til she forget that guy.
i dunno what kinda spell or curse that cause her to fall so much for that guy.
i dunno why the affection is so high between them.
Geez,that guy is a JERK la. (sorry,had to say that)
but i guess i couldnt do anything but WAIT.
i dunno even it's worth to wait
as doubts and curiosity 'pop-up' from time to time.
but my heart controls me as it desires,not my brain.
Yeah,i love her.At least now,i'm grateful for 'us'.

Just don't let same thing happen again,kayh? <3

Wednesday, November 23, 2011

maaf dari hati

Maaf dari hati.
err,ni lagu sebenarnya.Sofaz nyer lagu.
Bagi yang minat lagu ala2 jiwang ni,boleh tahan gak r lagu ni.
Kalau aku, aku dok ulang2 dgr lagu ni,
dok ulang nyanyi korus lagu ni.

ni ha korus nyer ;

Maafkan aku kerna tak telus
Menduakan cinta hati sucimu
Andai nya aku bisa kembali
Akan ku setia untuk selamanya

Ok la,see that bold sentences?
(ignore the 1st two sentences coz i never did that :P )
Tu aku tuju kat sorg ni.
Tu je point post ni,sebab aku tau 'dia' akan baca post ni.
Tak tahu la bila tapi dia AKAN baca,insyaAllah.
*bookmark la katakan :P

<3

Sunday, November 20, 2011

tipu diri sendiri

20/11,
dah 2 ari lepas hari jadi aku.
Mmg best ar celebration,terharu seyh.
Apatah lagi de scene suap-menyuap kek tu.
Hepi gler.Dgn pesanan ' <3 ' tu lagi..
...macam dream come true.
MACAM la....

Skarang ni,tekanan,sakit ati,sedih,despair,suma ada.
Benda ni timbul bila kita beria2 tepok sebelah tangan..
walaupun dah agak,dah tau cmtu jd nyer,tapi still tutup mata and hope that's not the case.
But when hope is just a HOPE,not real...
...
Ni kes tipu diri sendiri.
Butakan ati sendiri.

Dapat aku rasakan kegembiraan dan kebahagiaan walaupun sementara...
Namun sekarang,satu badan aku rasa mcm jatuh.
Ya Tuhan,tabahkan la hati aku.
baru sekarang nak ingat tuhan,padan muka aku...
Mmg mood aku hilang terus...

U're still with him,right?
Sorry,i accidentally saw your sms...
But I won't blame u for the happiness,the hope the you gave.
Dunno it is for real or not,but maybe that's the limit that i deserved to get.
No wonder u never reply to my love statements.
Oh gosh...i really wanna cry...can i?

Cigars and the night sky accompany me for tonight.
no stars could be seen.
gudnite :'(

Sunday, October 30, 2011

A Damn Day

Happened last week.
Involving;
1. eX
2. School Mate
3. my own Brother

eX, oh gosh,such a big liar.
Beria2 nak ajak aku kluar.
Time tu gak nak kata syg la,rindu la pe la...Aku iye kan aje.
K fine,aku berHARAP la jugak.C'mon,i need someone to love.
Then,kalo dh syg tu,aku mintak r dia janji jgn sentuh laki lain.Dia janji.
Tapi lepas date tu,keesokkannya,this is what she told me;

'mm...sori if 1 day org mungkir janji...'
Then,bila dah berbalas beberapa msj,senang2 je dia reply;
'k...xnk syg dah..'

Dah la,x puas hati lagi ke dia nak pecahkan hati aku ni.
Then,i ended everything that happened between us.
eX or friend,none,zero!
Hate u like hell.
....

Next issue is my old schoolboys.
Tak abis2 nk mengaibkan aku.
Standard la org buat muka hantu2,enjoy2 skit dpn camera.
Tu pun nk kutuk2 kt group,mcm aku ni hina sgt.
Cam bangang je,dari dulu lg asyik kena condemned je.
Benci seyh.Dah kluar skola pun kena camni lg.
Bukan nye sekali.
Bila aku dah TAK maafkan,time tu la aku tak layan.
Smpai mampos aku x maafkan.

Fuck Off.
...

Lastly,abg aku.
Ni mmg tikam like shit.Talam dua muka.
Abg mmg abg jugak tp x berhati perut langsung.
Taking all advantages kat adik sndri,pe cter beb!
Buat baik sbb aku bayar mkn,byr duit minyak.
Bukan nk berkira tp aku x kerja,still study.
Dia lak,gaji masuk tp mana pi duit tu?aku malas nk ckp.
Tapi duit aku gak deplete ari2..agak2 r skit..
Nak jalan2 tapi poket kosong..bangang...

Pastu pinjam duit aku,ayat punya lawa.
Abg punya psl,aku kasi la pinjam.
Janji punya janji, last2 jadi taik.
Macam2 alasan kna tepek kt telinga ni.
Dah la aku nak balik upm dah time tu.
Sorry to say la,dh tipu aku pakai nama Achik (my aunt),terpaksa ar aku libatkan Achik betul2.
Aku skrg xtau nk ckp dgn mama abah time diorg balik dr haji nanti
But the worst thing of all,
It's really fucking saddened me to have this kind of brother .

:'(
....

Memang pagi esok nya aku x tahan bila pikir suma ni.
Memang mengalir air mata aku.
Thanks Tiqa sebab sanggup dengar rintihan aku ari tu.
Aku memang dah xde mood nak balik Semnanjung.
xde mood nak balik rumah dah.

life's Sucks

Saturday, October 29, 2011

morning ideas!

I woke up,surfing the internet,
then i remembered Sir Fakhzan's ghost vid. especially the mirror one,
and this came up,

mirror




lol~

Friday, October 28, 2011

another cartoon

Well,disebabkan de yang suka kartun boomerang aku 'Paint' semlm, (thanks aimi!)
and tetiba aku de idea merepek,
So,created this one.

piggy bank



lol~

pabila bosan dikala malam


Bila dah check noty kat fb,xde pape nak buat lagi
tapi still xleh tido lagi,
So,aku 'Paint' :P

boomerang

lol~

Thursday, October 27, 2011

i'm feeling small

Walaupun badan n perut aku ni besar tp rasa mcm kecik sgt
sbb pe?
dia ni ha,
(sori sara,cilok gambar sat :P )

Ni Sara Joe.
Dia kawan aku,malah kawan baik aku....
well,at least aku anggap dia kawan baik aku... =.=''
Tak tau la dia anggap sama ke tak (tak kott)
Dia dah de kawan baik lain...
So,takpe la kan :(

So,pasal rasa kecik tu,bukan salah dia.
Tapi dia ni famous seyh,jujur aku cakap.
Ramai admire dia.
Dia mmg cun,lawa,cantik
(bukan nye aku de hati kat dia =.=' )

Dah brapa org dah post kat blog psl dia...termasuk aku gak la skrg :P haha
tapi sebagai kawan dia (or 'kawan baik' la KOTT :P ),rasa segan seyh.
Korang tgk la rupa aku.Kalo hensem dan kurus tu,de problem camera atau posing la tu.
So,nak compare kan,mcm artis dgn org gaji je.
Nak ngaku kawan pun segan seyh,aku mcm syok sendiri je.

Dia ni kuat semangat.De gak yang kuat jeles dgn dia.
Aku pun jeles skit gak,SIKIT je.Setakat 'jeles2 ubi' je.
Xde ar sampai nak condemn atau buruk2kan ke.
Tapi de gak makhluk2 buat camtu,kutuk lebih2.Melampau seyh.
To those who over-jealous,bullshit ar korg.


Pape pun,
segan tapi salute ar Sara ni.

Friday, October 21, 2011

now i woke up at home :)

I opened my eyes.
Relieved.
I saw the wall,the window,the bed of my house.
Not in the campus.
Then,i saw my lil brother that being late to go to school.
Hahaha,no comment.
I took my Pine and have one go.
Now,no more uspot,just unifi,for few days la..
But then,i remembered yesterday.
Gosh,i hoped that i didn't annoyed by miss calling u from time to time.
I just miss u and i am MISSING u...

btw
Happy to be home.
-currently in Shah Alam :)

Wednesday, October 19, 2011

rela undur diri utk dia bahagia

This one?yeah,the same one that i mentioned in other two previous posts.
I called,she didn't answer.I thought she didn't want to.
I called again,she DID.
Oh God,i'm so damn happy at that time.
Listen to that voice,hearing that voice,
I'm about to shed my tear.
We talked and talked.
(mostly about my scuba dive experience)
Then,i expressed.I told her that i miss her.I'm still into her.
She said, past is past.

How I wanna put it behind as u're the one that i want in the future?

After that call,i stayed in silence,speechless,alone in my room.
"Dia dah ada boyfriend la"
That sentence roaming around in my mind.
Had a cigar while looking in the night sky..again.
"What's this?"
A tear running down my cheek.

I miss her.So damn miss her.I'm worried.
God,please protect her.
Don't let she share the same experience as i did,or worst.

I couldn't interfere anymore :'(

Saturday, October 15, 2011

when there's a distance

I could only see you from afar.

When you having fun with others,
that's the time i smiled alone,remembering ours.
When i knew you having a hard time,
i tried to help but my body won't move.
When i tried to text you,
I reached my phone and typed but my finger won't press 'send'.
When i saw you sat alone,watching others,
I wanna sit next to you but my feet is petrified.
When you made that 'ponytail' hairstyle,
I want to mention that you're cute but i'm speechless.
But when we faced each other,
when i saw those eyes,
i keep telling myself that you are other guy's girl.

That 'kad raya' is all i have left.
Don't wannna spoil the happy life you're having now.
imy.

Wednesday, October 12, 2011

it was just a dream


When I woke up this morning,something struck my mind.
'Mimpi...semalam....'
Yeah,a dream.I tried my best to remember it.
.....
Not fully remembered but all i know it was a sweet one.
It's about her.
That trouble one?No,not that stupid 'Overdose'.
It was the one that I used to love very damn fucking much.
Until the truth came out...a painful truth.
Yeah,my first date,my first lovemate in this very university.
What happened then,this dream?
She post something in the facebook that she wanted me back.
She wanted me to be hers.
That's all i could remembered.
I stared to the sky,felt calm,felt happy about it.
Thanks God,for the dream.
I cant say that i was hoping for it to happen as it wouldn't anyway.
It's hopeless hope.She chose her own path.It seems she's happy with it.
It would be lie if i say that i didn't miss her at all,wouldn't i?
Kalau sayangkan dia,lepaskan dia kan?
Kinda hate it when sweet dream didn't last,ended up to be not real.
But this time,no comment.

You're one of them.
I miss our moments,i miss you.
Sweet dream,thanks.

Saturday, October 8, 2011

something's missing..

I woke up,looking at the phone,
'Its 12.24...no messages,no missed calls...'
When I'm looking out the window,a sudden flashback of what happened yesterday,slipped through my mind...
'Ah,lantak lah..'
I took a bath.Chill,cold water running through down my body.
My eyes vibrated,like asking for tears to join the water.
'Why?' I keep asking myself the same thing.
Dressed-up,I'm going to have my lunch a.k.a breakfast.
Arrived at KK2,saw a face that fucking spoiled my mood.
Nevermind.
Eat and be gone.
Gone back to the room and going to sleep again.
The moment before I gone to sleep,question marks popping up in my head.
Feels like my life is empty...
Something is missing...


If this post is puzzling or didn't show any motives,
couldn't understand and all,
no worries,
even me,myself have no explanation for this.
It just...happened.

Wednesday, October 5, 2011

it's..nice


5 Oct 2011,
Who would guess i will be calm after answering these 'Mathematic 2' and 'Kenegaraan' papers.
Aku tak cakap aku jawab betul ke,atau 'spot' soalan kena ke...Tak pun.
It just happened.So calm.Laughing with friends.
I didn't expect this actually.There's no depression's aura.No 'mysterious' silent mode.Takde nak tengok muka-muka muram je.Yang menyampah tu pun lantak la,malas aku nak amik kisah.
I have my life too. :D

I knew this calmness wouldn't last but i appreciated it.Hope it would happen again in future.
:)
-eL

Saturday, October 1, 2011

meaningless life


BEFORE
i've never been called to the headmaster's or principal's room.
i always watch CSI interrogate suspects.
i've never been accused of stealing.

NOW
i've been called to the dean's room couple times.
i've been interrogated by a forensic and a psychologist.
i've been accused of slander and rape
:'(
MEANINGLESS LIFE.

Friday, September 30, 2011

great,now i'm the bad guy.


-"Kenapa kamu tinggalkan dia?Sebab tak dapat tubuh dia?"

-"Kamu pernah ajak dia pergi hotel eh?"

Wha-?!What the hell are these?
BULLSHITS,i tell you!
C'mon!what next?!i'm a killer??
damn,insulted...
i know i'm having a troublesome life already..
but to be this bad? oh god..
speechless...meaningless...lifeless...
:'(

gosh,only god knows how regretted i am for knowing you at the first place.

what a GREAT life i'm having.

Thursday, September 22, 2011

a great lie

i dont like u guys.
i annoyed with all of u.
i ashamed with u guys.
u guys sucks.
i will never remember every each of one of u.
i am regret knowing each one of u.
i hate all of u,DPI.
see u guys next semester.


oh,what a great liar i am.

Tuesday, September 20, 2011

iheartDPI

"Aku saje nak perhatian.Jumpe korg time sem. 2 nanti"


There's a reason why im having this 'mohawk' haircut,
why i repeatedly joking around with paty and aimi,asking to steal my heart,
why i chose to make a video with all of us ONLY instead of drama in front of others,


There's a reason why i share with aimi and angel some of my problem and stories in these recent days,
why i often call and wave and smile at fira without any intention,
why i ignore any ruckus that prevent me from enjoying the happiness with u guys,DPI.

There's a reason why i start talking to fika even though i sworn before not to,
why i keep on teasing angel at Buku Hijau,
sometimes teasing iman and paty,
teasing aimi over and over again,almost everyday.


There's a reason why i turned my head away and tried not to look yek or apiz in depression,
why i love to see everyone smiling and laughing to adib's funny jokes or actions,
why i always ask safwan and wan to play psp with me.

Sori,sara,i being mad at u,it's not on purpose,
even though u're quite changed recently,
but i smile when seeing u and fasha,
as i said,im happy when u are,
hope im still ur bestfriend :')


There's a reason why i sometimes try to cuddle with u guys,
a reason why i speechless when thinking of u guys,
a reason why i shed my tears when seeing the pics of all of us,alone.


A reason where i took a phone in a sorrowful moment,
a moment where i felt like there's no meaning of friends,family and future,at that time...
a moment where troubles and problems presented in my mind...
a moment that lead to a stupid decision.

...

oh God,give strengths to all of these great people to face their life,
grant them eternal success and wonderful future.

"Jumpe -> Rindu"
iheartDPIsem1,2011

Sunday, September 18, 2011

the surroundings

Various attitudes,events and expression present.
A girl is under pressure upon the assignments given.
A guy that shout with joy as his state football team won.
A girl happily chatting with her lover.
With a table that full of empty cups.
Along with other tables that full of seniors' works.
Some couples having their meals together.
And some groups having discussions.
Cats patrolling around,searching for leftovers to eat.
Some bugs hitting the the lights as they were captivated.
Laptops was seen almost everywhere.
With dark sky that fills with stars,outside the windows.
Midnight almost struck.
Psp lay on the table with empty battery.
Then,a man with uniform entered as a 'get out' sign.
Also as a sign for me to stop writing this post.
end.

Friday, September 16, 2011

fed up


ko nak telan sepapan ubat?ko nk trjun tingkap?ko nk maen pisau?
sbb pe?sbb aku?
tu sbb nyer aku down dgn ko tau x.
ko igt aku ske ke ko 'love-obsessed' ni smpai nk bunuh diri?
ko nmpk aku mmg dh naik mnyampah dgn ko,siap tengking ko,wlaupun ko dlm suicide mode kan?
sbb aku dh FED UP.

1st time ko ugut aku ko nk buat bnda bodo,aku dh down dh.
ko btol2 mencabar tahap kesabaran aku.
mentang2 aku baik,ko nk buat aku cmni.
ko igt aku x sggup ke nk biarkan org lain buat bnda bodo mcm ko buat ni?
Yup,kalo boleh aku nk jd camtu tp malang nyer ko buat aku jd jahat blk.
sori,aku bkn nyer baik pun.
Ko blum knal lg aku siapa sebnarnya.

Baguslah la pun ko buat cmni.
ko dpt kwn amik berat gler kt ko utk ko tengking2.
Pastu mmbr2 ko suma nnt pandang taik kt aku mcm aku yg diperslhkan dlm kes suicide mode ko ni.
Pdhal,ko mmg ske buat bnda2 bodo ni.'Thanks' r wei.
Jgn igt org lain ske dgn prangai ko ni.
Kalo ko pnat nk pujuk aku,org lain lg pnat nk pujuk ko.

Ko nk trjun tingkap,main pisau?plg koman pun ko famous msok paper,xpun UPM tmbah sekor lg hantu.
Ko nk telan ubat byk2? fikir la,ubat2 tu bkn utk ko sorg.Byk org lain yg memerlukan tp ko beli utk main telan2 lak.
Ko nk mengamok dpn suma org?bukan nyer org suka sgt ko tengking2,jerit2 dpn diorg ni,ngok.
Ko nak salahkan aku?GO ON,like i even care.

Aku dh muak dgr maaf2 ko tu.
Tp ko fikir la elok2,HIDUP jauh lg ko nk tempuh,ko mau kasi pendek.
Aku pun byk bnda nk kna pikir slain ko.Bkn ko sorg je yg rasa miserable skrg ni.
Jgn fikir aku suka nak buat ko cmni.
Jgn fikir aku happy post bnda ni.
Adios.

sori,totally fed up with u.
i couldn't care anymore even if i want to.BYE

Thursday, September 15, 2011

a lifetime's Quote IX


THE REAL QUESTION IN LIFE ISN'T WHETHER YOU'LL BE LOVED,

IT'S WHETHER YOU CAN TAKE THE HURT AFTER THAT.

I'm just tired of u,sorry

It kinda depressed.
I'm being pushed and pushed everyday...
She thought that she the only problem that i had to handle?
oh geez,that's fuck...
=.='''
There's no way it going to be like this.
I'm the one who supposed to be dominant.
ego?
hell yeah,i am!
I AM GUY,for god's sake!
'girl's had much ego over a guy',okay,that's just sucks...
especially in a relationship..

Complaints,mistrust,blaming me...
then 'sorry'
and again,complaining,mistrust,put the blame on me...
end up with apologizing AGAIN
fed up la weyh!


So,***,sori.
u did it again.
im just sick of ur attitude.
im just sick of ur complaints.
im sick of u.
U think u the only who can get crazy?
U think u the only one who being miserable after all these?
Do anything stupid as u very please,i could care less.
im just goddamn tired of u.

im done with u,fullstop

blogku,assignmentku (??)


yeah,i didnt lie about the title.
i had to make 3 post within these 3 days.
Everyone can guess,it was ICT's assignment =.='
but who knows it would be kinda fun actually :)

^
(this pic got nothing to do with this post,actually :P )
LOL

So,what kind of fun?
i managed to increase my follower from 8 to 23 within 1 day because of this assignment,hehe
(normal la,x hotstuff pun :P )
So,i guess this superb SHORT post would be the 1st one :D

p/s, ICT rox! :P

Monday, September 5, 2011

Eid Ul Fitr '11


HARI RAYA 2011
Macam tahun2 sebelum,raya kat umah tok ajah dulu,gemokkan diri,suma kat situ.
And yeah,this year family aku warna PINK! =.=''
LOL :P

tok ajah pun join sekaki warna pink,haha

Then,sesi bersalaman and bermaafan pun bermula..
$_$
hehe

mama and abah...macam kartun =.=''


the eldest,Dila

big bro,Angah

and this is me...

si kecik,Azziz

...then ptg tu gi blk kg kt johor lak.Khamis blk shah alam blk.
nothing new,just ulang buat bnda sama setiap tahun :P hahahaha
yess!mmg aku malas nak update bahagian yg lain2 tu,HAHA

power rangers satu colour empat beradik :P
LOL

MAAF ZAHIR & BATIN :)


p/s, nik dh mula pggil aku pinky :P haha,luv u sis
n berat aku pun dh naik balik =.='''